Baddies Inc
by LunaTheMoonGuardian
Summary: (Modern AU) Taranza is a new employee in Kracko Inc., alternatively known as Baddies Inc.. At his new job, his main task is to oversee a particularly mischievous worker. What kinds of adventures will Taranza and this worker have, and will he be able to keep the worker in check? Find out in Baddies Inc.!
1. Spid-Er, Taranza's Here!

**Baddies Inc.**

**By LunaTheMoonGuardian**

*Chapter One*

Spid- Er, Taranza's Here!

_The dense fog hung over the tall, slim skyscrapers of Dream City_. It still seemed dark and dreary outside, despite the fact that the sun was well over the horizon. Or at least, that was what Taranza could observe from inside his taxi cab. His view was obstructed by the sea of vehicles that surrounded the cab, but that was the least of his worries. He glanced at his orange watch for the millionth time.

'_Great,_' Taranza thought. '_I'm thirty minutes late for my new job! I really should've known that it was going to be rush hour..._'

He sighed as he attempted to get his mind off of his tardiness. He stared at the pristine white limousine that was next to the vehicle, but mere moments later, he got uninterested in the activity of looking at the limo. He then picked up his grape-flavored Pep Brew, only to recall that he gulped it all down when he first got into the compact cab. Finding himself with nothing to do, he used one of his six hands to take out a newspaper from his dark brown briefcase. Taranza laid his back on the back of the brown leather taxi seat, and he started to search for something interesting in the paper.

"There's that one annual BBQ fest that I missed, a new world record that I could care less about, something about a new skyscraper... Heck, I could care less about this paper in general!"

Just as he proceeded to put the paper back into the briefcase, the taxi cab chauffeur finally reached Taranza's destination.

The cabbie said, "Welp, Taranza, we're here!"

Taranza stood up, which was a rather difficult feat because his back was extremely taut from sitting down so long. He stretched his spinal area for a couple of minutes to reduce the abundant stiffness that had piled up in said area.

The chauffeur, who happened to be a Sir Kibble with black-and-white checkered gloves, glared at him and snapped, "If ya don't leave, young man, then I'm gonna drive off with ya in tow!"

Taranza, who had been oblivious to the fact that he was still inside the cab, replied, "I'm sorry, sir! I must have been distracted by my stretching..."

The Sir Kibble gave no response. Seeing that the cabbie was giving him the silent treatment, he immediately got out of the taxi cab. Once he got out of the vehicle, a cold gust greeted him by slamming into his cheeks. Taranza shivered as he tried to utilize his green cape as a jacket of sorts. The building in front of him possessed a modern, sleek appearance, and the exterior's colors were mainly black with a strip of white on occasion. However, he couldn't notice the building, for he was rushing to the revolving door, which was the main entrance of the five-story tower.

Taranza let out a sigh of relief once he entered the main lobby. The room was still fairly chilly, but it was much more pleasant than it was outside. Like the exterior of the building, the interior had the same modern appearance and practically the same primary color scheme, with the exception of a little bit of gray. The floors were made up of white marble tile. The majority of the walls were windows, and what wasn't covered with windows was covered with various paintings and the occasional aquarium. But Taranza noticed two things above all else. The first thing that he noticed was the pungent, borderline overwhelming smell of disinfectant that took over almost all of the air in the lobby. The second thing was the sight that was a mere few feet away from him.

And what a sight he was. He was a white, legless creature with wings that were divided into several fragments. Red diamond-shaped tips were at the end of his wings. A glowing halo floated at the top of his head, and Taranza could spot a bandage that was right below the halo. He had two black dots for eyes and a massive smile. However, the most peculiar feature of him was the long, spiky plant that grew out the bottom of the creature; it resembled a cactus. Taranza's greeting that happened to be on the very tip of his tounge rushed back to his mind in pure shock due to the creature's odd appearance. The other unusual individual took this moment as a chance to utter a few words.

He indifferently greeted Taranza. "Hello. Do you happen to be Mr. Taranza?"

Taranza reluctantly replied, "Yes, sir."

"Ah. You were acutely belated upon your arrival, sir. I'll overlook this just this once, for it is your initial day here." After he said this, his smile transformed into a single, seemingly bloodshot eye in a matter of a few seconds.

At this point, Taranza really didn't know how to feel. He was humiliated that the other individual stated his tardiness, but at the same time, he was stunned by the creature's huge smile turning into an equally massive eye. The jolt of shock ended up being the victor of the duel.

After a several moments of hesitation, he uttered, "What is your name, sir?"

"My name is Zero Two. I am the head of this corporation, and I have one more item to endow to you."

At that moment, Zero Two gave an identification card to Taranza. The card listed his address, phone number, and e-mail address. It also had an image of him in the center, which was taken a few weeks ago at his interview to acquire this job.

He looked Taranza in the eye and said, "Welcome to Kracko Inc.."

The two were now sitting in Zero Two's office. This particular area was different from the rest of the building. It had soft, dark green carpet and crimson wallpaper. The room was chock-full of wooden bookshelves, which were stuffed with various textbooks. There was a wooden desk lodged between Zero Two and Taranza. Both of them were sitting in burgundy velvet chairs. The only thing that remained the same was the scent of disinfectant; it lingered like a friend that didn't want to leave your house.

Taranza asked, "What is my duty here, sir?"

The other individual replied, "Your main task is to manage and discipline a particularly poorly conducted employee."

"If he's poorly conducted, then why didn't you fire him already?"

"He is actually a good planner, and he has a decent amount of intellect. However, he uses these qualities only when he desires to, and he only puts them to good use around 3 to 5 times annually."

"Hopefully I can improve his behavior...where is he normally at anyways?"

"He is located on the third floor; his cubicle number is 16."

"Got it, sir."

And with that, Taranza left the office. The elevator was only a few yards from him, and he quickly floated to it. The elevator was made of glass; because of this, he could observe the city from it. He could also see the machines that made the elevator function. A touchscreen was on one of the glass walls. He went over to it, and he tapped it with one of his six hands. Upon this gesture, the device showed a screen that had five buttons on it, each one of them signifying which floor the elevator would take you to when you tapped one of them. Taranza tapped the button that had a 3 on the center. Just as he selected what floor he would go to, the elevator began to go down. He glanced outside of the glass wall for a few moments. Most of the buildings that were within his field of vision were slender and modern, but there were a few places that stuck out as older-fashioned to him.

Taranza arrived at the third floor. The third floor looked different from both of the floors that he had been on. It had faded blue carpet, white walls, and lots of cubicles. He glanced at the numbers the cubicles had on the fronts of them as he floated by. He did this until he got to Cubicle 16, where he was greeted with a high-pitched and slightly nasally voice.

The voice said enthusiastically, "Hey, hey, hey! How are you doing today?"

He looked inside the cubicle, only to find that a purple creature was waiting for him. He wore brown shoes and a jester hat that was teal on one side and red on the other. The hat had both circles and triangles, which were on one side each. The creature had one red eye and one blue eye. Both of his eyes were filled with eagerness and a trace of mischievousness.

Taranza replied, "Hi. I'm doing just fine. How are you?"

"I'm doing great! What's your name?"

"My name is Taranza. What is your name?"

Marx sung, "My name's Marx~!"

Taranza commented, "Well, aren't you an eager young man?"

Marx said, "Do you want to see my cubicle? Do you?"

"It would be a pleasure to!"

Taranza followed Marx inside Marx's cubicle. Its decorations consisted of a mishmash of blue, red, and purple, various shapes, comets, Marx's name drawn in several styles, and pictures of him. The teal desk in the cubicle was littered with a variety of items. The only item that stood out to him was the desktop computer. He glanced at the label to find out what brand the computer was; it was a Spectrum 4000.

Marx asked, "Do you like it?"

"Yes, I do! It looks wonderful."

"Thanks."

Taranza said, "How is your job?"

Marx replied, "Baddies Inc. is a coolio place, I tell you!"

Taranza shot a puzzled glance at him. "I thought that this building was called Kracko Inc.. I might have made a mistake, though."

"Kracko Inc. is the real name, but everyone and their mommies call this place Baddies Inc., so it just kinda stuck."

"Why?"

Marx paused for a moment, then he replied, "Erm...it's something about economic stuff...okay, I really forgot."

Taranza said, "That's okay. I might get something from the vending machine that I saw earlier. See you in a second!"

But before he could leave, Marx shouted, "Wait! I have one more thing to show you!"

"What is it?"

Marx stepped over to the desk, and he grabbed a card that he made for Taranza with his mouth. He walked back to him, and Taranza picked up the card from Marx's mouth.

"It's something that I made just for you!"

He glanced at the card that Marx made. It was made out of copy paper. On the front of the card, there was some pink handwriting that read 'To: Whoever the heck the new employee is'. Taranza opened the card, only to see what appeared to be Marx's posterior and some more pink handwriting that read 'Love, Marxie'. He sighed and closed the card.

Taranza muttered, "Gee, thanks. Did you _really _have to show me your hindquarters?"

Marx replied, "_Aww_, shucks!"

Taranza looked at the card again. '_This is going to be a long day..._'

**A/N: Well, this is the first chapter of my new fanfiction! I hope you enjoyed it, and constructive criticism is gladly**** appreciated. See you next chapter!**


	2. Grill's Diner

**Author's Note: In this fanfiction, Dark Matter Swordsmen will be referred to as Dark Matter Businessmen.**

*Chapter Two*

Grill's Diner

_Taranza stared at his digital watch yet again. _It was about to be 12:00 PM. He was now sitting down in a spinning brown leather chair, which was the only decoration in his new, vacant cubicle. However, it wasn't going to be empty for long.

Unfortunately for Taranza, his cubicle was right next to Marx's. This meant that Marx could easily sneak up on him. And he was sneaking up on Taranza, all right.

Marx silently tiptoed on the worn-out carpet to Taranza's cubicle. He had a jar of chunky peanut butter and a metal tablespoon in his mouth; you could tell that he had bad intentions.

Marx leaped to the edge on one of the sides of Taranza's white desk. He walked a few baby steps, and then he gently put down the jar of peanut butter. He inserted the spoon into it. He took it out, and he then cautiously put the tablespoon of peanut butter on Taranza. He repeated this process twice, and afterwards, he ran out of the cubicle as briskly and silently as he could.

Taranza didn't even notice the events that just happened; he was browsing the Internet on his cellphone. That all changed when a large blob of peanut butter decided to fall down, and it landed right on his cellphone.

He shouted, "Where did that peanut butter come from?!"

He scanned the ceiling for anything suspicious, but much to his disappointment, he didn't find anything. He searched his cubicle for a certain someone, but he didn't find him, either.

Suddenly, a low-pitched voice stated, "Sir, you have two large gobs of peanut butter on your forehead. You know that cleanliness is important in this office, right?"

Taranza glanced over his shoulder, only to spot an unknown worker. He had black skin and a red eye. He wore a white cape and a red tie, and the spikes on the top of his head were neatly combed back. He still appeared a little bit off-putting with his single, slightly intimidating eye, but he was nowhere near as strange as Zero Two.

Taranza shot a puzzled look at the stranger. "Do I?"

"Yes, you do, sir." He then took out a black pocket mirror and held it up to his face.

Taranza was rather irritated at what he saw in his reflection. Two blobs of peanut butter were slowly falling off his forehead, and he was pretty sure he knew who put peanut butter on his head. He grabbed a wet wipe from his desk and wiped the gobs off.

"Marx, you're in trouble now!" Taranza yelled.

Then, he said to the stranger, "Thank you for noticing the peanut butter. Who, or what, are you, anyways?"

"You're welcome, sir. My name is Albert, and they call me a Dark Matter Businessman. What is your name?"

"Taranza, sir."

Albert replied, "Interesting. I wish that I could chat a little longer, but I don't have the time. It was nice to meet you."

"You too."

Taranza waved his new-found acquaintance goodbye, and with that, he went to Marx's cubicle to chew him out. As it turns out, he was sitting on a blue cloth chair, and he was looking at the entrance of the cubicle, almost as if he was expecting for Taranza to walk in.

He shot a raging glare at him. "Marx!" Taranza yelled. "What was the point of you putting peanut butter on my forehead?"

Marx gave him a smirk. "Well, duh! I wanted to remind you that it's time for the daily lunch break. Speaking of that, I'm pretty hungry."

"I'm starving as well, but couldn't you just_ tell _me that it was time for lunch?"

He stared at Taranza with a 'Are you stupid?' expression and said, "I was telling you that, but just in my style."

"Suuure." The word was dripping with sarcasm.

Marx then changed the subject, and rather abruptly at that. "I'm really starving now. Can we go eat?"

"Where do you want to go?"

"It's a surprise."

Taranza let out a sigh. "It better be good."

Marx smiled and said, "Oh, it'll be _amazing_. Could you follow me there?"

"I'll follow you; I don't know where this place is, after all."

Marx began to walk briskly alongside the rows of cubicles, and Taranza followed suit. The new employee wished he could be without Marx for at _least_ the lunch break, but Zero Two came by his cubicle and informed him that he had to supervise Marx for his whole shift, even during lunch.

'_I can tell that Marx is going to be quite the hassle,_' thought Taranza.

* * *

The two employees were now in the elevator. Taranza was admiring the view of the massive skyscrapers and the artistic buildings that were in his line of sight. However, he couldn't enjoy the view for too long, as Marx broke the silence in the elevator with his voice.

Marx begged, "Taranza, will you carry me?"

The other employee sighed and replied, "You're a grown-up man, Marx. I'm pretty sure that you can walk by yourself."

But Marx wasn't giving up yet. "Please?"

"Nope."

"Pretty please?"

"No."

"Pretty please with a cherry on top?"

"_No_, Marx. How many times do I have to tell you this?"

Marx leaned against him and whined, "Taranzaaaa..."

Taranza let out a sigh, and he rolls his eyes. He then realized that they were in the lobby, and the elevator door was about to close on the two. He swiftly pressed the button that kept the door open, and both of the employees ran out of the elevator.

Taranza said, "Well, that was a close one."

Marx replied, "It sure was."

* * *

The duo stood behind the crosswalk that led to the other side of the street. The herds of traffic had lessened by this point of the day. The now-warm air had greeted Taranza, and he happily greeted the air back, as he loved warm weather.

While they were waiting for the cars to stop driving past the crosswalk, Taranza decided to look at the buildings that were across from him. The ones that were the massive towers and the ones that were works of art stared at him, but he didn't stare back. Instead, he observed a fairly compact one-story building that was directly across from him.

The building had a cream color that was splashed against its external walls. It was made of bricks, which surprised Taranza a little bit. Near the top of the front wall, there were two big, purple words that read 'Grill's Diner'. Under it, there were smaller words that said 'Home of the famous Star Stacker and Super Star Stacker'. The words were written in bright red.

'_It's quite the misfit of the street_,' thought Taranza. '_But that's why I love this building so much._'

Then, Marx shouted, "Taranza! The crosswalk's empty!"

"Oh, sorry!"

The two bolted across the street, and they were breathing quickly once they got to the other side.

Taranza pointed at Grill's Diner and asked, "Are we eating there?"

Marx gave him an impressed look. "How'd you know?"

The other employee simply shrugged as they stepped inside of the building. The floor of the interior was a series of yellow and white tiles; the yellow ones had a star that was drawn in the center of them. The wall wore a purple wallpaper that was adorned with green stars, and the seats were a vivid red. Every square inch of the interior possessed an aroma that smelled of fresh cheeseburgers, which gave Taranza an inviting break from the sanitizer scent that was in the office building.

The thing that shocked Taranza the most was not the interior, but rather the person that was standing inside. The person was a walking, talking onion that donned a long, striped purple-and-yellow hat with a yellow block on the end and red shoes that matched the seats of the restaurant. A green tuft of hair was sticking out of the hat, and the onion had two red lines on each cheek. However, the most noticeable thing about the stranger was her eager blue eyes, and the eyes were looking straight at the two employees.

The onion enthusiastically greeted, "Hiya, Marx! How are ya?"

Marx replied, "Doing good, Grill!"

Grill then pointed to Taranza and asked, "What's ya name, Mister Spider?"

He answered, "My name's Taranza, ma'am. I'm pleased to meet you!"

"Nice to meet ya too! My name's Grill."

"Could you take us to our seat, Grill?"

Grill smiled and said, "Sure."

She took Marx and Taranza to the seats. The two sat on the seats, and they were glad that they were off their feet. Grill brought out two menus and laid them down on the table.

Grill said, "Tell me when you're ready."

Marx decided on his order almost instantly-which was a Triple Deluxe cheeseburger-while Taranza was scanning the menu for food that wasn't a cheeseburger, hot dog, or a breakfast item. He could really focus on the menu because Marx was keeping his mouth shut for once, and the diner was vacant, save for a family of four. Taranza eventually decided on the Dreamstalk salad, for it was the only thing that sounded appetizing to him.

Marx impatiently huffed, "Have you decided yet, you slowpoke?"

He responded, "Yes, I have."

After they ordered their meals and two cans of Popster's soda, the two relaxed in their seats.

Taranza said, "You know, Dream City is a ton louder than where I live."

Marx rolled his eyes and replied, "Well, duh! This city is the capital of Popstar, also known as the _planet_ that we live in! Did you think that the city was going to be quiet?"

"I know that. I was just pointing out that fact, for I live in a suburb by the city."

"Oh, okay."

After that 30-second long conversation, there wasn't much chitchat from either of the employees. Once their meals came out, they scarfed the food down, for the lunch break was almost over with.

As the two got out of their seats and waved goodbye to Grill, Taranza thought, '_This was fun, but it's time to get back to work_.'


End file.
